I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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