Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
People in love make me want to vomit
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
