It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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