Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
