I bet he comes in French.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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