M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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