I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
vagina is talking i cant
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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