scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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