I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Someone shattered a urinal.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
