Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
