Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Randomize
