don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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