Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
