I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize