This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
