So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
