ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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