Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
