I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
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I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
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You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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