I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
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He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
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I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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