the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
