marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
