Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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