How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
