Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
