The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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