Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
