nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
