i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
