I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You smell like stripper and shame
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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