This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
