You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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