they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
