All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
