thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
