It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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