So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
