There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
