Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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