i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
