i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
