Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
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I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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