So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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