So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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