If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
