Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
