Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
