You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
