i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
