I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
