I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
