I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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