HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
