Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
