So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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