Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
