Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
