To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
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This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
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The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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