i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize