I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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