is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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