i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
being pregnant is like rehab
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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