Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
