Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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