okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
