Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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