His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
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she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
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I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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