Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
