my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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