whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
