SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
