He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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